Well, we stayed at the hospital program for all of 3 days before we had to evacuate. They continued to focus on the supposed "OSDD," problematizing our existence, and not letting us use our names instead of actually treating the OCD we were there for. They spent the entire time tripping over themselves about a system presenting as plural and how to squash us into a singlet, instead of helping us. :( It was genuinely traumatic because I'm already so fucked up from being told I'm a "dissociative state" and have severe social anxiety over how different we are. And apparently Aster was getting good support from the other patients during group despite all this, and this group of absolutely "normal people" was able to accept us just fine ;-; But then the hospital as a whole goes and treats us badly for being plural and it kinda takes over.
Thankfully we were able to ditch early, and Aster got a tattoo on behalf of all of us in order to process the event and take back control. It's a combination of the plural circles and transgender symbol that Aster designed before the appointment. I'm really glad to have it and it looks good.
Thankfully, it turns out our psychiatrist is in our corner and actually really pissed off about how the hospital handled things. She removed our OSDD diagnosis from the records since she agrees we do not have it, and that was a huge relief. It's gotten us thinking about how people clamber for a diagnosis to feel #valid, and how not as many people in this era of plural self-advocacy are trying to ditch their diagnoses. But that's kind of another thought, and its own issue. We'll probably be writing a guide to getting un-diagnosed at some point, soon.
This whole situation really has me messed up, though. I'm glad we've got a solid support net, and are building an even wider network now. Having friends in real life who accept us is getting so important, because I realize so much of my anxiety comes from feeling like I could never be accepted by people who aren't within the same hyperspecific niche communities that we are. But that's not true! I know it's not true! Psych "professionals" are just so good at reinforcing that fear by dehumanizing people like me :( But normal, everyday people are kind to us.
Honestly just getting off the internet to find real-world support and detox from toxic online discourse has changed so much about our self-esteems. I know mine has gone up since not being exposed to the constant discourse, anger, and need to defend my existence from others. I know Aster has been feeling better, too, especially after finding out that long-term exposure to Tumblr's environment caused a massive chunk of our OCD.
The one good thing that came out of this is having our meds adjusted and having them actually work. They could take 3-5 months to reach peak effectiveness at this dose, but they've started helping our mood and anxiety a lot already. Here's hoping it keeps getting better.